I’m Lying in Your Bed

I’m lying in your bed.
Tell me all about the source
Of emptiness
And longing.

Tell me why it seems
Completely necessary
For this waterfall to pour from my
Head.

In my head is an image
That says to me
No one gives a shit about you,
Buddy.

Despite a sea of humans pouring love
And admiration
Over my brow.
How can this be?

I want to merge with you.
I miss you.
Do you care?
Perhaps you’re wise to protect yourself.

Come drown with me in this ocean
Of love pouring into
The black hole
In our heart.

The beauty and tenderness I feel
With you,
I can’t help but cry.
Do you feel the same?

Do you feel at all?
I can’t tell any more.
I’ve shouldered this pain for so long,
It just feels normal.

The waterfall is pouring love
A few feet away,
But I’m glued to the ground.
With this heaviness, I can’t crawl.

How can I transcend my addiction to pleasure
My fear of pain?
How can I live in the Spirit of the Truth
And still be a reptile?

This reptile in my medulla oblongata
Speaks so
Loud.
The world of ten thousand things is nothing in comparison.

I sit here.
I love you more than words could possibly say.
The co-dependence inside me shrieks.
So, how could I expect you to navigate that?

I can’t. You’re not here and
I don’t blame you.
You’re sick of humans and, it turns out,
I’m still one.